Dear Sarah,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it last night in your camping car and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning the cut toenails to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about our friendship.
In pain,
Aj1t1
http://sglider12.deviantart.com/journal/